Friday, September 29, 2006

Cranbourne Botanical Gardens

I went to Cranbourne Botanical Gardens today with a friend. I was so excited as it has been 7 years since I have had the good health to be able to take on such an adventure. To other people it would be just a day out whereas for me it has been a huge accomplishment. I took photos for my visual journal. We went on a tour of the new gardens that have been set up and it was wonderful to see it at it's beginning stage and i look forward to going to visit in the future. My friend and I had a lovely lunch and coffee after the tour and we visited the bookshop.
I have just started to do "The Artist's way" and have just done lesson one. The book talks about having special artists time and I think even though I went with a friend that the spirit of adventure and enthusiasm was there.
A very kind American woman has agreed to be my mentor as I work through the book. It has been a fabulous day and I also did my 10 minutes of art work. A lovely lady suggested 10 minutes of art work a day was better than nothing and I can definitely find 10 minutes a day.
I am so thrilled.
yesterday I had my first mentoring session with keeping my spiritual journey on track. I am not mentioning people's names as they may not want to be on the blog.
I've done a search of this blog and only once has it come up. I'm not sure why is doesn't display when a search is made. I don't know who to ask. I don't dare ask EDM group. At the moment it isn't important as I don't really want to be found. I'll worry about it when I am putting my art work on the blog......future dreaming.

Monday, September 25, 2006


Went to the podiatrist yesterday and told him that my feet had finally arrived at the top of my to do list. I have had so many other concerns that my feet rarely take priority. The podiatrist told me things I can do to take care of my feet including regular visits to see him. I will try my best!!!


Just added my first picture to the blog. It is fitting that it is Sooty. I have had Sooty for 12 years. She arrived in my back garden as a stray and she slowly won my heart. I have never had a cat before. She has a very gentle nature and we suit each other very well. I love her at bedtimes best of all when she waits until I get into bed and then she comes to join me. I don't know how old Sooty is so I am often aware that this may be the last day we share together. I have many happy memories. I am glad she is on the web...what a treat.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Gratitudes instead of envy

Instead of being envious of other people I need to concentrate on my own life and to be grateful for my own blessings. I am usually a person who lives a lot in gratitude and need to get back to that.
I realised today that my experiences with mental illness and chronic fatigue syndrome can help other people. Many times in my life I have met people who have benefited from my candidness. I'm sure it is true of all of us, that our personal experiences are often helpful to others sharing similar things.
I learnt to be careful what I say and to be more aware of what I am thinking. I needed a reminder on these points. I was telling another friend to be areful that what she says negatively doesn't play out in her life and there I am being reminded of it myself. I am very aware I need to stop focussing on envy and to get focussing on my life in a positive way.
I was waiting awhile for a friend to turn up for coffee at a coffee shop and suddenly remembered that I had put a sketch book and pen in my bag and got it out and started sketching the people and some furniture. It was only a few sketches but I was absolutely amazed that I was sitting sketching in public. I was thinking of a friend from EDM (Everyday Matters) and how she sketches all over the place and I felt inspired to do the same.
I have decided to keep this blog going as I gain confidence to finally do a blog to share with EDM. There is no rush. I have to get a camera and scanner. I may keep this blog going anyway as I love how I feel so private and yet it is so public. It is unlikely anyone will find this blog but I really am enjoying writing it. I thought I'd be all self conscious and edit what I have to say but it's just like my normal journals .....I just write and write. My greatest passion would definitely be the journaling and sharing feelings and thoughts.
I think that's it for today.
It was extremely good meeting up with my new friend. We had so much in common. She has a busy life so it's unlikely we'll be able to catch up often but I will enjoy it when we can.
I've just realised I need to be careful about mentioning other people here as they may not want to be as public as I am. I've just had to edit this.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Sleeping to much

When I first left work I often slept up to 20 hours a day. The doctors didn't know why and just put it down to my mental illness. Now I sleep up to 13 hours a day, usually about 11. I feel like half my day has been slept away. I have been battling with this one for a while. If I put the alarm on for more than a day it just makes me feel extremely tired during the day and often I have to rest. I have surfed the net but only babies and partying teenagers seem to have the problem. Recently I was going through a more zippy time for 10 days and I was only sleeping 8 hours so it seems to be connected to my moods.
Having complained about this I will try and keep my future entries brighter. So many people have much more serious problems I feel worse for mentioning it.
UPDATE...It's now the end of the year (2006) and I recently have been waking as early as 4.30 am and only sleeping 4-5 hours. I love the change. What a blessing. It happens for about 10 days waking up between 4.30 - 8am and then it goes back to the longer sleeping. I'd love to find other people who have strange sleeping patterns. I love having the extra time awake.

Friday, September 22, 2006

A Beginning

I've just set up my first blog and now I'm all anxious about what to say. The reason I wanted to start this blog is I am wanting to touch other people's lives who find the daily journey is often a hard thing. I have mental illness and chronic fatigue syndrome and although I have an extremely blessed life for which I am very grateful I often struggle with each day and the lessons the day has to bring.
Today I am very aware of how envious I get of other people. I am trying to get back to my creative work with collage and writing but am very critical of what I am doing because I am comparing myself with other people. I am hoping as I do this blog that I will become more aware of my own uniqueness and stop comparing myself to other people. I think one of my biggest problems is that I have been ill with mental illness for many years and only in the past few years have I been on a medication that has given me a more normal life. In my efforts to understand how to do things I have looked to other people for ideas and advice and have unfortunately got into comparing myself to others. So from now on no more comparing......send a comment if you notice I'm comparing!!!
I am hoping in the future to include some of my art work on this blog. I need to get a digital camera and a scanner so there is plenty to do first including improving my art work.
OK .... let's see how this entry looks.
Once I send this I haven't a clue how to do another entry another day .... so this may be my first and last entry.
Have courage to make the most of your own journey. I try to make the most of each day in my own way.

I'm back...I just wanted to see how to edit far so good.

I am so pleased I've decided to do this. Nobody needs to know but they will as I am not one to keep secrets unless I've been told to. I will share this with my friend Susan though because I was mentioning to her how I would like to touch people's lives with my writing and sharing.
See you tomorrow.